Mobile Neighbors
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Anger Management
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Agent:
Thank you for contacting <company> about your wireless service, my name is Christina, how can we help today? Customer: I get free mobile to mobile calling on my current plan but I am getting charged for mobile to mobile calls. Agent: Well OK, can I get the numbers you’re dialing so I can check them in my system? Customer provides me with the numbers and I check them to see if they are of the same service provider to qualify as “mobile to mobile”. Agent: Well there is the problem ma'am, these numbers are from a different service provider and therefore do not qualify for mobile to mobile. Customer: But they’re my neighbors!! Agent: Yes, but your neighbors are not one of our customers. Customer: But they’re in a mobile home!! Be Kind, Just Be Kind.
Rep:
How may I help you? Caller: I have spent all week trying to rewind my DVD. How do you rewind it? Rep: Where are you calling from? Caller: My kitchen. |
Agent:
Thank you for contacting <company> support, how can we help today? Customer: Well I have a problem with anger. Agent: *Hesitates for customer to elaborate* Ok…, well how can I help with your blackberry today? Agent: Well you see, one day my blackberry was vibrating, it just kept vibrating and vibrating and vibrating! it just wouldn’t stop! So I grabbed it, and I threw it against a wall and it shattered into a million pieces! Agent: *Assesses the situation* Ah, so you’re looking for repair and exchange options today? Customer: Yes, yes exactly. Agent: I understand it's shattered, do you happen to see a piece that you used to insert the battery into? It should have a white sticker on it. Customer: Well that’s another problem you see, after I broke my device I gathered up the pieces and I burnt them! Agent: Y-you burnt the pieces of your broken blackberry sir? Customer: *insane raspy voice* It just wouldn’t stop…vibrating. Agent: Ok sir, I apologize but due to the nature of the damage, this would be deemed beyond economical repair. Customer: What?! That…makes…me so angry!!!! arrrggghhh!!! *series of swears, shatters and bangs followed by a dial tone* |
Enter the Key to Success
I work at a phone company that supplies mobile internet connections. I got a call from a customer one day complaining that her internet wasn’t working. After about ten minutes of the usual checks I realized that the customer was connected so I asked her to open an internet browser.
Agent: Can you click in to the address bar and type www.google.com please? Customer: I've done this already and it didn’t work. agent: Will you do it again for me anyway? Customer: Alright. Agent: w-w-w-dot-g-o-o-g-l-e-dot-c-o-m and now press "enter". Customer: Oh, you have to press "enter"? |
Party Zone
One late friday afternoon our office discussion centered on an upcoming party. Instead of answering a phone call with our standard greeting, "state power," I answered "state party." Thank goodness the person on the other end enjoyed it! he responded, "All right!"
Napplication
At our company, we take applications for service.
Caller: Hello, I would like to speak with Steve please. Phone Rep: I'm sorry, Steve's taking an "app" right now. Is there something I can help you with? Caller: (irritated) Well, when Steve wakes up from his "nap" tell him to call me! |