His / Her
Paging Dr. Lucille
Here is how my very first call as a rep went.

Caller:
I want to know why my husband's prescription drug was denied.
Phone rep:
What was the drug prescribed for?
Caller: 
His her.
Phone rep:
Excuse me?
Caller: 
His her.
Phone rep: 
Can you repeat that?
Caller:
His her!
Phone rep:
I'm sorry but i don't know what "her" is.
Caller: 
It's for his "her"!!!  He's bald!  He ain't got no "her" on his head!
One of my friends works in the customer service center for a pager company. He handles usual complaints, as well as the occasional crank caller demanding to be paged less often, more often, or by more interesting people. But the best call came from a man who repeatedly called and complained that he was being paged by "Lucille."

Caller:
How can I get "Lucille" to stop paging me?
Phone rep:
You should call her and tell her to stop paging you.
Caller:
But she never leaves a number, so I can't call her back.
Phone rep:
How do you know it's someone named Lucille if she's not leaving a number?
Caller:
She leaves her name.
Phone rep:
(realizing the man has a text pager) How does she spell her name?
Caller:
l-o-w c-e-l-l
C'mon! I Need a Clue!
Category of One
​Ringy-Dingy?
In our insurance provider call center, I really did get this call!

Rep:
Thank you for calling. how may i help you?
Member:
Hi, I have an appointment with a dental office today and I have misplaced their phone number.
Rep:
I would be more than happy to help you. What is the last name of the dentist?
Member:
I don't know.
Rep:
Ok, how about the address?
Member:
No, don’t have that either.
Rep:
How about a town, or street name?
Member:
No, I don't remember.
Rep:
Have you been to this dental provider before?
Member:
No.

At this point I wanted to say: have you tried the psychic hot line?
I work in an Ohio insurance company. I recently received this call from a customer.

Caller:
When will my medical bills be paid?
Rep:
May I have your claim number please?
Caller:
I don't remember it. Do you really need one?
Rep:
Let's see if we can work around this. Do you know your social security number?
Caller:
It's xxx-yy-zzzz.
Rep:
I don't seem to be finding your account. May I try by your name?
Caller:
I'm not really comfortable giving you my name.
Rep:
All right. Can you tell me the name of your employer and where you were injured?
Caller:
My employer is Acme Trucking, and I was hurt in California.
Rep:
I don't seem to be finding your company in Ohio.
Caller:
No, they are located in California.
Rep:
Do you have a claim in Ohio?
Caller:
No, it's in California but you are the only insurance company with an 800 number.
Can You Speak(er) Up?
Set Ringtone to Evaporate
I had a lady call requesting information and delivery information about our product and here's how it went:

Operator:
Thank you for calling, how may we help you?
Caller:
I have questions about your containers and bringing one out to my house.
Operator:
Sure, what are your questions?
(I hear rustling in the background against the receiver)
Caller:
Can you hold a second?
(2 seconds later)
Caller:
Thanks...I had to put you on speaker phone because I am partially deaf in one ear.

I started laughing and didn't have the guts to ask her the next obvious question...

I worked in a call centre for a cellular phone company. and I received the following call:

Me:
Thank you for holding, my name is Sithe.
Customer:
Hi, my phone does not evaporate.
Me:
I don’t understand ma'am, what do you mean by "does not evaporate"?
Customer: 
It doesn’t evaporate, it only rings.

That’s when I realized that she meant that her phone does not vibrate!