This Pin-head is Seeing Stars!
What Will They Think of Next?
"A" as in Aarf, "B" as in Bow-wow
I work for a large financial center on the internet support line. Clients can access their information online using an access code and a personal identification number (pin). One day I received a phone call from a lady who stated that her pin number was not working properly. I looked at her account information and the account was in working order. I went ahead and gave her a new temporary pin and asked her to try it while I waited. She said it was still not working. At a loss as to what to do next, I asked her why she thought the pin was not working. Her reply was that when she entered the new pin, all it showed were stars ( * * * *) and not the pin numbers.
An employee called our corporate help desk. He told me the coffee cup holder on his computer broke, and that he needed a new one. I was clueless as to what he was referring to. After a while I realized that he was talking about the CD tray. So I probed further, and he verified that a button on the front of the computer produces a "drink caddy" in the lower corner of his computer. He said, "You know, it's just like the one they put in automobiles." I said, "not exactly...."
While taking an application for service over the phone, I asked a customer for his middle initial. Since letters are sometimes hard to interpret over the telephone, I asked for a clarification and said: "Is that ’d’ as in dog?" He laughed and asked if I was calling him a dog.


Are We Communicating?
A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?", the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "this is her husband!"

 
This One Kicked the Bucket
I work for a wireless phone company and received a call from an irate lady who could not understand why she would be billed for "airtime." I told her it's because she exceeded the minutes in her plan, also known as her "bucket," and after that she is charged by the minute. She was still irate. Finally, I asked why she thought she should not be charged for airtime. Her reply, "I wasn't even on an airplane last month!"


You, You Goat Head!
Right after I started with customer service, I had a customer call who gave me her account number before I was ready. I asked her to wait a moment, and when I was ready said, "go ahead." She started to give me her number again and then stopped. "Did you just call me goat head?" she asked. I was horrified. "Oh no," I sputtered. Then she started laughing, and added, "My husband always gives me a hard time when I say 'go ahead.' He says, 'don't call me goat head,' and this was the first opportunity I had to use it on someone."
It's "Sew" Simple...
An exasperated woman called a tech support help desk saying she couldn't turn on her new computer. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed it over and over again and nothing happens." After a brief interrogation, the tech support rep discovered that the woman thought the mouse was a "foot pedal" similar to the one she used to power her sewing machine.


Payment Arrangements?
I had been talking to a lady who was on her cell phone when she said, "hold on while I order my food." I waited and heard her order a cheeseburger, french fries and an orange pop. Then she came back to me and we discussed her payment arrangements.
Hide and Seek?
A confused caller was having trouble printing documents. He told the technician the computer said it "couldn't find the printer." So he turned the computer's monitor to face the printer and the computer still said it "couldn't find the printer."


Talk About a Wrong Delivery...
This happened at a national shipping company call center. I received a call from an extremely irate man wanting to know about his package. I asked for his tracking number, and he gave me a 10-digit number, two digits less than our-12 digit code. I verified this with him, and he said his code was correct. Then I checked for an outstanding pick-up at his address. Nothing. This caller was angry. I had to tell him there was no record of a shipment or pick-up. He yelled, "Well, my FedEx 'powership' program says you have it!!!" I asked, "are you aware you called UPS?"